Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Look! A Deer!

Went for a walk in the forest (I know, so unlike me) and happened across this little fellow. He was totally nonplussed by our appearance and continued eating around us. At one point he walked right toward us and I said to my husband, "What if he charges at us?" I'm such a city girl...

Oh hey! A human!
When I say "in the forest", I mean a few feet.
Don't you just want to touch his furry antlers?
He was totally not camera-shy and I snapped a dozen pictures as he munched away. So cool!

Cone Bra of Shame

I just found a sunflower seed in my bra. And I ate it. The three second rule expands exponentially when you find food on your person, right?

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Welcome to Camp Gogina

I am not a camper. I dislike nearly everything to with camping. The dirt. The bugs. The smoke. The packing a million supplies. The unpacking dirty, smelly supplies. The dew in the tent. The outhouses.The only two redeeming qualities are wieners on a stick and marshmallows on a stick.Anytime you're putting something edible on a stick you're looking at some good eatin'. Therefore, my idea of "roughing it" is staying at a hotel with a kitchenette. 

Anyway, we went to visit a friend and his son at their campsite recently. We had marshmallows and wieners with us so I was willing to endure some campfire smoke on my clothes and hair. Two hotdogs, three s'mores and two burnt marshmallows later, I had to admit that it was pretty nice. For one, there were miraculously no bugs. No mosquitoes, no flies, no wasps. Very unusual. We went for a hike through the woods to the lake (not the beachy part but the rocky mountainy part) and the view was just gorgeous. The kids decided they wanted to go swimming down at the beach. My friend's son lent the girls his swim trunks and they disappeared for an hour while we visited with a neighbouring campsite. I visited the washroom which had toilets of the flushing variety and even a hand drier. Pretty swanky.

So hold onto your bucket hats. I am actually considering going camping.

Monday, July 16, 2012

The Turners

Every day at least 6 people drive into our company parking lot to turn around. AT LEAST. We call them The Turners.

"We got another Turner."
"Someone's here...oh wait, just a Turner."
"Is that a courier? Nope it's a Turner."
"#$%^ Turners!"

We are in a slightly industrial part of town. It is not a terribly busy street. It is not a cul-de-sac. There are not many businesses nearby. Our building is clearly marked with our business name. We do not get walk-in traffic as everything is shipped to our customers by courier. So who are these people and why are they turning around? Where are they trying to go? Every day? Every single day?

You cannot confuse our driveway with a road as there is a piece of machinery at the end and a gate (that must remain open for couriers and trucks to come and go). None of these Turners have legitimate business here. They do not need to drive right into our parking lot to turn around. They do not need to drive down the side of our building to turn around. They do not need to pull into our driveway at all to turn around. The wide street has ample space for a large vehicle to make a legal U-turn.Or they could make a right or left turn at the end of the block and go around for heaven's sake.

What. The. Hell. Is wrong with these Turners?

Short of laying a remote-activated spike belt, I don't know how to deter them. I just want to run out there waving my hands like the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons.

Don't even get me started on The Lunch Eaters.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Oh Internet

There's nothing you can't do.
I'd be lost without you.
Your maps and directions,
Your movie selections,
Your current events,
Your houses to rent,
Your places to vent.
Oh the money I've spent!
On toys and on clothes,
And electronic prose
For my Kindle e-reader.

What would I do
If I didn't have you
To find things on craigslist?
Would I know what exists
to be purchased on eBay?
Or Amazon? No way.
Would I have games to play?
Could live just one day
Without email or Google?
Would I be just as frugal
Without online coupons?

Could I share my pics?
Watch YouTube? Netflix?
Could I diagnose those
Spots on my toes
Without WebMD?
Where would I be
If I couldn't see
My Allrecipes?
Or search Wikipedia?
Or look on Expedia
For my next vacation?

Oh Internet
Without you I'd bet
I'd be lost and alone
With my tv and phone.
I'd never know where
I could find the best pair
Of shoes or swimwear
Or the way to get there.
I'd feel disconnected,
Cut off and affected
Without my Internet.

© 2012 Miz Dinah

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Such a Diva

I'll admit it. I have become a Diva...cup user. When the doctor suggested I switch from tampons to pads, I felt like I had been tossed back to the stone age. Bad memories of high school and leakage came flooding back (pun intended). I tried the Today (TM) disposable cups and they worked pretty well but didn't have the capacity I needed and I felt bad tossing them into the trash. I did recall some hippie-sounding reusable menstrual cups so off to the Googles I went.

I found the Diva Cup (TM) web site and read the product information and testimonials. Intrigued and still a bit skeptical, I sussed one out at my local London Drugs. It took a little bit of practice to get the insertion and removal just right, but after 6 months I am a happy convert. It comes with a cute little drawstring cotton bag for storage and a Diva pin which is now adorning my winter toque (hat for you  non-Canadians). Cleaning is simple with the natural Diva Wash (TM) that I also purchased, but it also cleans up fine with water when I'm out. In a pinch, when there are multiple stalls and a penguin walk to the sink is not really kosher, I empty it and wipe out with toilet paper before reinserting. It was worth the investment (around $20, which is about 3 months' worth of tampons), easy to pack, easy to use, and I feel better about not tossing and/or flushing wrappers and products. And I didn't have to break out the love beads and patchouli either.

Oh, and they're made in Canada! Happy Canada Day from one happy Gogina.