Tuesday, September 28, 2010

No Gnus is Good Gnus

Former US President Jimmy Carter is hospitalized...for stomach upset. After a flight. During his book tour. Seriously? This is news? So he was president once upon a time. So he had a little diarrhea. So what? Hundreds of people just died in Mexico in a mudslide.* The Commonwealth Games in Delhi are going to shit. Who cares about a little tummy troubles? Jeez. Unbelievable. Wake me up when Obama farts.

*edit: Today's news reports that there are no confirmed deaths but 11 are missing. Still more newsworthy than an old man's digestive upset.

Thursday, September 23, 2010


Oh it's that time of year again. The sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever, time-to-pull-out-the-Vicks-vaporizer-again season.  A classmate coughed and sneezed on J-girl yesterday.  This morning: sore throat, runny-stuffy nose.  And as of this afternoon: fever and chills. And a little stomach upset.  Thank goodness tomorrow is a Pro-D day.

So off to Shoppers Drug Mart I go to pick up the Sicks-pack:
  • Tylenol/Advil
  • Fruit cups
  • Gingerale
  • Kleenex
  • Broth
  • Crackers
This is in addition to the BRAT staples: Bananas, Rice, Apples & Toast. And if that doesn't work, some Pepto-Bismol. Yup, I think we're prepared for this pity party.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Eight is Enough

Acting BalancedHeather from Acting Balanced has tagged me to answer 8 questions, which kind of forces me to blog (crack that whip, baby!) so here goes:

1. What was the last book you read?  Would you recommend it? The last book I remember reading was Eat Pray Love. I thought it would be really lame but I actually found her writing style very easy to read and her content so funny. So yes, I would recommend it.

2. How often do you post on your blog?  Do you have a schedule? As sporadically as possible from the looks of it. Ahahaha...a schedule? Are you kidding me?

3. What is your favorite blog topic? Me, of course!

4. What did you have for lunch today? Toasted flax pita, goldfish crackers, 10 chocolate covered almonds from yesterday's box but they were for a good cause! I rationed out half a package for today. I had an off day because the kiddo stayed home from school sick and I went to work late. Usually there would be some kind of fruit or vegetable in there. I did have an applesauce in my purse but I forgot about it as soon as I remembered the almonds.

5. Where do you get your news? CBC and CNN via iGoogle.

6. How do you handle stress? Eating. Lots of eating.

7. What is your all time favorite movie?  Why? The Rock. Two words: Sean Connery.

8. What is one thing that people would be surprised to learn about you? I used to lick the flavour coating off the dog's chew treats and put them back in the box. I was 4! Don't judge! They were very tasty! (I also used to lick the flavour off the chips and put them back in the bag, but the soggy chips were discovered and that stopped pretty quickly.)

Okay, now I'm supposed to make 8 questions and tag 8 lucky bloggers:

Crumbs in the Minivan
Rants n Rascals
Manic Mariah
Lady Mama
Mom vs. the Boys
The Sassy Curmudgeon
Leigh vs. Laundry
Fighting off Frumpy

Your questions are:

1. Which of your blog posts is your favourite and why?

2. What's the most annoying habit you have?

3. Do you exercise regularly?

4. What is your favourite household chore?

5. What's your sleeping style? A snuggler that needs to be touching another body or a mind-your-own-space-if-you-know-what's-good-for-you solitary sleeper?

6. What is your favourite flavour of chips?

7. Would you rather eat pickled pigs' feet or lick peanut butter off a hobo's toe?

8. Can you lick your own elbow and did you actually try or are you just guessing?

Post these questions and your answers on your blog, and find 8 lucky souls to answer 8 of your own (or if you're lazy just recycle mine). Have at 'er!

PS. It is impossible to lick your own elbow. Unless you have really short arms or the tongue of a cow.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

It's Hip to Be Square, Homies

I'm a pretty hip mom...wait, that sounds square. Umm...Yo yo what up, g? Baby mama's a fly shorty rollin' in mah hooptie with mah homies. Word! Yeah, that's not working either.

My point is that as a mom I'm pretty relaxed with certain things such as clothing and makeup (as long as it's not slutty) and music (as long as it's not too profane).

I like to rock out to the latest Top 40 Pop, Hip Hop & Alternative. Some songs are so damn catchy that I can forgive the trashy appearance of their performers. But if you really listen to the lyrics, is it any wonder kids are growing up so fast and furious? Take Kesha, for example:
Take it Off
Now we lookin' like pimps in my gold Trans Am
Got a water bottle full of whiskey in my handbag
Got my drunk text on, I'll regret it in the mornin'
But tonight I don't give a I don't give a I don't give a
There's a place downtown where the freaks all come around
It's a hole in the wall, it's a dirty free for all
And they turn me on, when they take it off
When they take it off, everybody take it off.
Girl really does like her whiskey (and not even the good stuff):
Tik Tok
Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back
And then you've got thinly disguised sexual references, like Kardinal Offishall's
Body Bounce
Ahhh shit here we go again,
I'm lookin' at you but I'm seein' your friends,
Both my hands fit around her waist,
Her asstronauts takin' up my space, yo,
I'm about to launch my rocket,
Take off your clothes and reach in my pocket,
Grab the controller, similar to the Wii,
It's a game and Imma let you beat me
...(blah blah chorus)
I love the way you make that body bounce,
Lovin' how you work it,
Work it, work it
...(somethin' somethin')
Show me a little work,
Imma take them calories off with that shirt,
...(yadda yadda)
So resilient,
I like how on the inside its like a wetsuit, brilliant,
Water resistant up to 9 inches,
Wrap that let me open it up like Christmas,
I'm about the same height as inches
Now, I actually like these songs. Their rhythm and groove is very catchy. But there's something about hearing your 11-year-old and her friends singing about brushing their teeth with whiskey that makes you go, "Say wha?"

Peace out,
D to the G

Friday, September 10, 2010

Miss Kitty, Take a Litter...

Dear Kitties,

We are about to spend an obscene amount of money on a litter box because we don't enjoy scooping your poop. If I thought you could master flushing the toilet I would train you to squat on the seat like a small, furry human. But I don't want to find your hard little turds floating in the bowl. Also, last time I tried to flush some "flushable litter" the toilet backed up.

We have decided on the Litter Robot, aka The Death Star. Do not be afraid, kitties. Khhhh. I am your father. Khhhh. It's hard to breathe in this biohazard suit! Please adjust quickly to the new littersphere so we can all breathe a little easier. Also, please stop flinging your poo out of the litter box. And if you would wipe your feet on the mat instead of jumping out and spraying loose grains of litter across the floor that would also be appreciated.

Your Humans
aka The Food Lady & The Man

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Why Are We Celebrating Labour Day?

Not that I'm complaining about an extra day off! I asked several people and none of us knew the origins of Labour Day (Americans: ignore the u; it's silent, eh?).

From Wikipedia:
Labour Day or Labor Day is an annual holiday to celebrate the economic and social achievements of workers. Labour Day has its origins in the labour union movement, specifically the eight-hour day movement, which advocated eight hours for work, eight hours for recreation, and eight hours for rest.

The eight-hour day. That sounds pretty good. Oh wait. Eight hours of work + 1 hour travel time + 1 hour lunch = 10 hours...should I take that 2 hours from recreation or sleep? I guess the hour spent getting ready in the morning is recreation too. And cooking and laundry. That recreation time is whittling away. I guess that's what weekends are for! Still, it's hard to complain; we actually have it pretty easy.

Did you know that before the 1900s the work day used to be 10 to 16 hours a day, 6 days a week? Of course, the women stayed home to cook, clean and procreate back then, so that would be 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We've come a long way, baby. I guess that eight-hour day only applied to the men, because they wouldn't have cooked, cleaned or cared for the kids back then. Men have evolved significantly since women went to work outside the home. Thank God for that!

So Labour Day really is worth celebrating. And what better way to celebrate than a day without labour? Hope you all had a great Labour Day long weekend and a good first day back to school!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

What's for Dinner...Sometime Back in August

Salmon Burgers with Sweet Potato Fries and Broccoli Slaw

These are not the sweet potatoes I gave my thumb for. These are frozen and from a bag. Don't judge me. I was hungry and in a hurry. It's actually a pretty healthy meal overall.

Salmon Burgers: Found ground salmon in seafood section, no spices, no additives, already formed into patties so I seasoned with salt, pepper and dill. Fried in pan lightly oiled with grapeseed oil and placed on whole-grain bun with butter lettuce, sliced tomato and cucumber, and Renées cucumber dill dressing. This is a most fabulous dressing.  We once marinated a salmon in it and cooked it on a cedar plank over a fire. Delicious!

Broccoli Slaw: Open bag of Mann's Broccoli Cole Slaw. Cheating, I know. But if you saw my post about sharp kitchen implements you would understand. Add a little bit of Kraft Asian Sesame dressing and toss. Crush a small handful of peanuts with a glass because you're too lazy to pull out the mini food processor for a few nuts and garnish. I forgot to sprinkle dried cranberries on top but they add another flavour dimension.

Sweet Potato Fries: Open package of McCain Sweet Potato Superfries and follow directions. I usually buy the Mann's bagged raw sweet potatoes but I was too lazy rushed to get dinner ready. Our concession to eating the processed fries is that we didn't cook the whole package and just had a small portion.

Add a glass of red wine for digestive purposes and voilà! Dinner in 30 minutes. Cheers!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Back to School Blogging

School starts on Tuesday (for us; I know some schools start earlier). I don't know if this means more time to blog or less.

On the one hand, J-girl will be back in school and I will still be working so our evenings will be spent doing homework, dinner & bedtime rituals. With the addition of homework and the reduction of TV-watching, it will be status quo as far as blogging, ie. very little. However, she is starting a French program that is much more intense than regular classes. This could either challenge or frustrate her, and by association, me.

On the other hand, she's 11 1/2 and much more capable to tending to herself as far as cooking, cleaning and bathing. She is becoming quite social and spends more time visiting and entertaining friends, and talking on the phone, than before. So I may find myself with more free time. I guess it remains to be seen.

I only have one child. I see parent bloggers out there with multiple munchkins and I've got to wonder how they do it.

How do you manage to raise your kids and still blog? Do you work outside the home? Where do you find the time to blog? Inquiring Goginas want to know!