Monday, June 28, 2010

And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire...

The Ring of Fire. 

Johnny Cash had it right when he wrote those lyrics.  Betcha it was right after some hot wings and vodka.  Johnny, ditto on the spicy tuna rolls.  I'm picking up what you're putting down, man, and I feel your pain.  Right here.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Pet Peeve #238

Attention Costco shoppers: 

If you can't leave your kids at home, please corral, contain or otherwise control them.  You wouldn't send them out to play in traffic so don't let them run wild amid two-hundred-pound shopping cart gridlock.  I can't count on my fingers and toes how many running, spinning, jumping, climbing and unsupervised kids I saw today.  Shame on you lazy parents!

Our Father's Day

Our father, who art in bed
Snuggled under the duvet,
Thy breakfast comes,
The coffee's done,
At home as it is in Starbucks.
Give us this day our daily hugs,
And forgive us our toast crumbs,
As we give you breakfast in bed,
And lead you into relaxation,
And deliver you your presents.
For this is your day,
Twenty-four hours of glory,
We love you forever,

Happy Father's Day!

Saturday, June 19, 2010


Welcome to Blogology 101. Let's start off with some basic terminology, shall we?  Pay attention, there may be a quiz later.

Blog: short for web log. A place to share your thoughts, feelings, rants, photos, stories, travel, reviews or anything else that can be posted to a blog.

Blogger: one who blogs, obviously, or the blog platform owned by Google.

: mortal enemy friendly competitor to Blogger platform.

: hiding behind a pseudonym or posting as an anonymous guest.

: see blognonymous.

: the world of blogs.

Blog Roll
: a list of fellow bloggers and links to their blogs, often reciprocated.

Blog Hop
: kind of like bar hopping, without the drunken stumbling and vicious hangover.

Blog Surf
: to randomly peruse blogs; on Blogger, hitting the "next blog" link repeatedly at 2 am.

: words of validation that feed a blogger's ego.

Blog Whoring
: leaving comments on blogs or group forums with the sole purpose of pimping out your blog; aka marketing.

Blog Awards:  the chain letter of blog love.

Blogs of Note
: the Blogger version of a blog award, aka free PR and increased traffic; the holy grail of a Blogger blogger.

: a mis-spelling of Blogger; also Blooger.

See you next class!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

It's One of THOSE Days...

You know those days. When you wake up late, have a headache for no reason, feeling crappy and not even a hangover on which to place blame.

You scrabble around the closet in mid-darkness, plucking whatever mismatched outfit you first lay hands on from the depths and find some coordinating socks in your drawer.  Throw your hair in a ponytail because it's all stuck up on one side and frizzy, and not even gobs of hair gel can contain the curly flyaways that are now reinforced by Joico. 

After you poke haphazardly at a blemish, you spend extra time having to conceal the redness with foundation and a paint makeup brush, leaving less time to perfect your congenitally-defective half-eyebrows.  Swiping brow powder across them leaves them looking like brown skid marks across your forehead. Tame them into a semblance of brows with a Q-tip and try not to poke your eye out with mascara.  Throw some powder across your half-assed masterpiece, grab your purse and shoes and run out the door.

Drive like a madwoman over the hill and through the woods and arrive at work a half hour late.  You pour a cup of steaming hot coffee into your mug and clutch it in your hands like the holy grail of mornings. Then you sink into your chair behind rolling waves of paperwork, heave a sigh, and get down to business.

It's one of THOSE days...

Friday, June 11, 2010

Baby Talk

Every kid has a special vocabulary borne of twisted consonants and mixed up vowels...

For example, in daughter-speak:
Frimp - Shrimp, as in frimp n cheese pizza.
D-We-D - DVD. Incidentally the first D-We-D we owned was Freck.
Ha-capes and Hadacados - Pancakes and avocadoes, not eaten together of course.  Although that sounds kind of good, actually...

From my brother's mouth:
Feet Keener - Street Cleaner, which passed by our house in Toronto regularly and scared the bejeezus out of him.
Fruck - Truck; most exciting was the Fire Fruck!

My sister's vocab:
She-It - I know what you're thinking. We thought my brother had taught her to say it. Then we realized she was saying "See it".
Babin' suit - Bathing suit.  During one of her regular wardrobe changes she was known to strut out in her babin' suit.

I don't recall too many weird words from my childhood, although I'm sure there are a few.  My aunt always remembers how articulate I was at age 3 when she asked me what I was drawing: "Auntie Le-o-na, I'm trying to con-cen-trate!"  And my other aunt, who was sniffing my neck in the car, "Auntie Janet, you snucked all my perfume!"  And to this day, my mom always wonders what I was dreaming about when I woke up screaming, "Carbitis carbitis!"

These are the things that will follow you around forever.

Monday, June 7, 2010

At What Point Does The Well Run Dry?

We've become so accustomed to hearing about the Gulf of Mexico oil spill that it's become an accepted fact that millions of barrels of oil have been spewing into the water and there's nothing we can do about it. It's not like any of us laypeople can fix it, not even with a straw and some bubble gum à la MacGyver. The Big Boys can't even stem the flow. The magnitude of the spill is mind-boggling. It's hard to believe it has taken so long to stop the flow, and even harder to believe the long-term repercussions it will have on the coast, the ripples of which will eventually affect us all.

It just makes me wonder, though, how much oil was in that well? Was it like a pore in the earth's dermal layer that only holds so much oil or was it a straight line to the main fuel tank? Would the tank eventually have hit empty?  Will it now?  How much oil is left in there? Are we running on fumes to the next gas station and someone is going to have to get out and push??? It just makes me wonder.

I hope alternative energy technology has taken this opportunity to grow in leaps and bounds and that we'll become less dependent on petroleum and more reliant on a safer, sustainable resource. One that won't cause this:

Meet Oily, Greasy and Sludge. Collect them all!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

For the Love of Reading!

I love to read.  I devour books like a pig in a truffle pile.  I inhale pages like bacon-scented breakfast air and then sniff around for more.

It's not something J-girl usually enjoys doing but all that changed after the first Twilight movie.  We bought her the set of books and she plugged away at them until she had read the last page of Breaking Dawn.  These are big books for an 11-year-old, and she did me proud.

Since J-girl has not been to school in about 3 weeks, she has been spending a lot more time reading.  She has done a bit of homework here and there that the teacher has sent home, watched a bit of TV, of course, and played on the computer.  She has learned to use Powerpoint, Photoshop and Word, and has written stories and created presentations on topics she loves: animals and vampires.  She has used the internet for inspiration and instruction on drawing, something that used to frustrate her due to her perfectionist tendencies.

The biggest accomplishment, though, has been reading.  She went through the Twilight series, Gifted series, My Sister The Vampire series, and of late has finished the first two books in the Vampire Diaries series.  A tear of pride welled in my eye when I got home from work to find that she had read the entire 492-page book in one day.  That's my girl!

I went out and bought some more books to fuel her reading fire.  The other night we lay in bed with our novels and read in peaceful content.  It was a beautiful thing. *tear*

Maple Leaf Wiener

The Top Dog in the Maple Leaf Foods contest is:

Meal Planning Mama

Enjoy your bag o' goodies!  Thanks for your entries and comments.  You guys complete me. ♥

(Comment #2 is not an entry, in case you're wondering about my math!)

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just a Little Unwell

The child is sick with her random stomach pain sickness extravaganza thing again.  This is the part where we start all over again looking for answers to this resurfacing undiagnosed malady.  And I get a letter from the principal regarding said child's attendance pattern.  And I get a nail in the sidewall of my tire and fork out $300 for some new treads.  And where my eye twitches in a nervous tic as I grind my teeth.  Twitch twitch, grind grijdlfgadgrrr.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Old Ladies and Cat Food

A myth?  Possibly.... But compare the price of a can of tuna and a can of Fancy Feast, factor in the price of rent and utilities and divide by Canada Pension and it's not as far off as you might think. A dollar doesn't stretch too far these days.

June 1st is Hunger Awareness Day.  Are you hungry?  Now imagine your cupboards are as bare and Old Mother Hubbard's.  I bet you that poor dog is looking pretty tasty right about now.

Kraft Canada has teamed up with Food Banks Canada to help take a bite out of hunger.  From June 1 - 11, every dollar donated to the Canadian food banks will be matched, up to $150,000.  That's a lot of KD (and other essential food).  Are you up to the Kraft Hunger Challenge?

Dinah Gogina.  Doing good things since 11:35 pm.