Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Step Into My Office

Close the door and turn on the fan.  This is where I do some of my best work.  Don't let the lack of desk fool you.  This cube is alllll business.  No windows for distraction.  Soothing waterfall in hot or cold.  It's a little bit of zen.

Meet my right-hand man, Hans Fuller, who helps me multitask on my Blackberry.  Don't worry, we have a special stainless steel dock for when we get down to dirty work, complete with sterile paper rolls.  Hans keeps me up to date on my emails in this office, but always holds my calls.  Don't mistake him for his cousin, Hans Free, who accompanies me on travel.

I do a lot of international business here. A lot of urgent business from the Asian market. Mostly with Pee Ying (we meet several times a day), but sometimes with Pu Shing too.  We get a lot of repeat business.

At the end of every meeting, Wai Ping always helps.  Then there's Wah Sheng, who is obsessive about cleanliness and is always washing Hans.  Only after these rituals am I allowed to pick up my Blackberry.  They're sticklers for tradition.

Sometimes I get an urgent message from the folks down south (they like everything fried).  A little uncouth, these rednecks just seem to pop in with little notice.  Like Willy May Kitt.  Some say he lacks fibre; I find him a pain in the ass.

The more refined British clients prefer to knock, and if the time is not convenient, they will come back later.  Sir John Pinchworthy is a man of substance and much character.

Then there are the crazy Cajuns, RenĂ© and GaspĂ© N. Le Loup (pronounced Run-NAY and Gas-PAIN Le LOO). Very unpredictable to do business with but always a show. 

I try to keep my meetings brief, although I`m the only one to use this office.  The one across the hall is shared among 4 or 5 men, and I`m not sure they have the same personal valet service.  In fact, I think they do most of their work standing around, with very little focus and aim. When they do sit down, the place is kind of a dump.  It`s not the kind of place you`d want to take the floor.  There always seems to be an ass at every meeting I`m in, but at least I don`t have to deal with a bunch of dicks as well.

My home office has an open-door policy, and is a very supportive environment.  Always R&D materials to read through, natural light, WiFi, even wet-naps.  There is no pushing to get things done, no deadlines.  Real towels instead of paper ones.  Sure, you have to share, but with three offices to choose from, you`re almost guaranteed to have a productive meeting day or night.  I know when it`s time to roll up my sleeves and get down to business, Hans is always right there by my side.

1 comment:

Alicia DiFabio said...

LMAO!! So funny! I always have too much company in my office under the age of 5. I cant seem to get them out of there for my important meetings :)