I like my toilets. The ones at home. Particularly the one in my ensuite, where I have privacy to poop and toot behind two closed doors - the bathroom and the bedroom. I spend a lot of time in there. It's like my second home. I like that my feet touch the ground. I like the soothing hum of the fan. I like having wet wipes on the back of the toilet for those "sensitive days" where I spend many hours seated upon my porcelain throne. I like a toilet with good suction mixed with a healthy amount of swirl.
I do not like the toilet at work. City building code forced us to have a wheelchair-accessible (read: high) toilet. My feet dangle when I sit back. My pee hits the front of the bowl when I sit forward, and due to the U-shaped seat, it splashes up on my leg unless I bend over and direct the flow in to the water. It is not a good shape. It is a long oval, unlike my bum, which is a wide circle. We are not a match made in heaven. There is not enough water to welcome a log boom. And to top it off, there is not enough suck. So you end up with skid marks on the bottom that require the shameful double-flush. And the most important feature of a commode? Location, location, location! It is near a doorway and two offices, and the light hum of the fan sometimes means you have to "hold your fire".
As far as toilets go, my friend has the ultimate in comfort and technology. Is it fair to say I have toilet envy? She is the proud owner of the Toto Washlet, which does exactly what it sounds like. You go, and it washes you, front and back if you desire. Not only that, but the seat is heated and sitting activates an exhaust fan that keeps your bowl and surrounding air fresh and clean. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. An oasis of clean. I want one.