Friday, January 8, 2010

Lookin' For Some Hot Stuff...

I ate at Quiznos today. Well, I had takeout anyway. I ordered the BBQ Beef on whole wheat. When I got back to work and opened it up I was expecting saucy beef on a bun, but there appeared to be only a thin line of sauce in the centre. No matter; it still looked appetizing and let's face it, I was starving and would pretty much eat anything at this point. First bite, mmm yeah. Good. Second bite, oh, that sauce has bite. Third bite, woo that's pretty spicy barbecue sauce! Wait a minute...oh sweet mother of God, that's friggin' hot! Wipe nose, continue eating. Sniffle. Wipe. Bite. I can't believe this is barbecue sauce. There must be some mistake. It looks like barbecue sauce, smells like barbecue sauce, and if I could taste it I would say it also tastes like barbecue sauce. But I can't taste it anymore because it feels like caustic acid in my esophagus and I think it has melted my taste buds. This must be hot sauce. They have to have made a mistake. There's no way 85% of the population could eat this. There were no flames around the BBQ Beef on the menu. The barbecue and hot sauce must look the same, or be mis-labelled. Hot-hot-hot. Eyes. Watering. Do. Not. Cry. Must. Persevere. Work through the pain. Think unsaucy thoughts. Small children would cry out in pain but I Am Woman. Oh thank God, I'm finished. Blow nose. Hey, my sinuses are clear! Oooohhhh, tongue still burns. Water-water-water! More water! Mmmmmaybe some cookies. I hear sugar helps tame the heat. Whoooooo sweet Jesus that was like nothing I've ever eaten. I have a headache and my nose is leaking. This is so going to hurt when it comes out. Wasabi, eat your heart out!

1 comment:

whippedcrema said...

Think unsaucy thoughts. Nyuk nyuk nyuk.