Saturday, September 20, 2008

With This Ring...

Our daughter frequently asks us, "When are you guys getting married?" For our 15-year anniversary yesterday, she "married" us with two rings she picked out the day before from the dentist's office. Then the three of us went out to a lovely three-course dinner. It's not for lack of trying, as two wedding dates have come and gone. Getting married is a huge project of coordination, organization, and frustration. Not to mention the expense.

Rewind eleven years ago (before our daughter was born). We were young. Barely in the workforce after university (read: poor!) with student loans, a high-rent townhouse and a yen to be married. We attended the Vancouver Wedding Fair, picked up samples, ideas and a wedding planner book. We made lists. Colours, venues, menus, guests. I tried on dresses. We argued about costs. Our guest list ballooned. We both have large families. Our close family members numbered over 120 and we hadn't invited any friends yet. We grew resentful. We broke up. I moved in with my dad for three months. We talked on the phone every night. We missed each other. We got back together.

We got better jobs and eventually decided to start a family. We moved into a two-bedroom condo in the city when we were four-months pregnant. Closer to work for both of us and far enough away from our families to be independent. Our beautiful daughter was born. We wanted to get married again, share a last name. We down-scaled our wedding plans to a small, intimate gathering of 80 family members. We booked the banquet room at a golf course, paid the deposit, started planning. Took out a $10,000 line of credit to pay for the wedding, since I wasn't working. Decided halfway into it that we just couldn't afford it. Babies are expensive! The golf course wouldn't give our deposit back, so we told them to cook up $500 worth of appetizers and we invited some people to come and eat them.

By then we were together for seven years. We had a family. We were committed to each other. So we gave up on the wedding and spent what very little money we had to buy our first house. Get out of the city, get a yard, invest in our future. We joked that we were doing everything backwards: have a baby, buy a house, get married.

Well, our baby is nine, we're in our second house...

I think it's time we get married. But now it's not so important to have the whole fam-damily join us. It's personal. Just the three of us. So we will probably elope or have a destination wedding. If some of our family can join us, that would be great, but we're going to plan what works for us. Our options are:

- Las Vegas
- somewhere tropical
- on a cruise somewhere tropical
- City Hall
- or something local

Plus we have all the linens, toasters, gravy boats and steak knives we need. What we NEED are margaritas, palm trees and a sandy beach. :)

Thanks for journeying with me through time. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog. And by regular I mean twice a month. I'm working on that. See Procrastination.


Me said...

My husband and I dated for 6 years before we got married. We both had been married once before, so we decided we wanted it to just be the two of us, but awesome. We got married at the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island (Michigan) on the porch, overlooking the lake. The Grand Hotel is the hotel where Somewhere in Time was filmed (Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour). It was a very romantic 3 day getaway that we don't regret for a second (not having anyone there).

I highly recommend getting married privately - no family and friends to bicker, no people staring, just the couple. It's how it should be IMO.

DangerDame09 said...

Just stumbled across your Blog and this post. It made me laugh. You see, my now husband(we just got married August 2008) have been together since September 1992. Had our son March 1994. Split May 1995. Have been more off than on. And in August of 2006 he proposed. And the rest is history. No need to rush, right ?!?!?!

DangerDame09 said...

***edit*** we have actually been together since September 1991 !!!!