Monday, September 15, 2008

Flaming Bag of Pooooooo...

I am somewhat recovered from last week, in which I was sick with an affliction I have named Angry Yellow Diarrhea, formerly known as Acid Poo. It was, as the name implies, out for vengeance. Um. Ow.

I dragged my butt to work each day, where I am unable to do anything above a number one without the whole office knowing. Ah, even then you can hear me tinkle, but it's an acceptable noise. If the toilets were lower and I could make a better seal between my bum and the seat, you wouldn't even hear that, but alas, wheelchair-accessible toilets are not ergonomically designed for the height-impaired. At 5'2", only my toes touch the floor. If I plant my feet flat on the floor, I will be crapping on the seat. I call shenanigans! Discrimination against short people! :)

Luckily, I have access to the "Executive Washroom" upstairs. If I coordinate it just right (aka hold it til lunchtime), I can use it when no one is upstairs and I can shart to my heart's content.

Ahhhh, my kingdom for a bran muffin...

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